Don't Wake Up the Neighbors

'I must confess, I'm in love with my own sins.'

Slowly losing sanity to family members...visiting them for Christmas. Before I loose it, I leave you with this.

I don't know anything about this, other than it was painted by Dan Young's cousin. But I like it.

Enjoy.

'Will we go to heaven or will we go to hell? It's my understanding that neither are real.'

Give Me Malice, Give Me Envy, Give Me Your Attention

"No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feelings that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention."

Tell Me Your Secrets and Ask Me Your Questions

I've been craving books recently. I've missed the pages. I've missed the connections. And I've missed the emotions they'll evoke and the percussion they'll leave to your brain. But it's esoteric.

Words will forever hold more importance than any film could provide.

"Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will fuck you up."

...it's funny because I had to edit this to make it look decent.

Mon Coeur S'ouvre a ta Voix

You'll see the words but you won't read them. Not really. It'll fuck you up.
The layer, the wall, the one you can move if you tried hard enough.
But you don't.
With fingers shaking and hand trembling the words are foreign aliens,
The hand falls and pages slip. The words you could never understand disappear.
But they don't.
They stay encased in the ghost of the wall.
As the pages dry and everything dies the writing bleeds to seep into something closed.
Locked up. With the key buried under the goddamn encumbrance.
But maybe there never was one.
The tears won't fall if the heart stops beating.

The Way We Get By

I'll be thinking of the time I felt inspired.

Merci Pour Le Venin

Every word's a new regret if you say it right.

Look Alive, Sunshine!

Happy Thanksgiving! I don't know what I'm thankful. I'm horrible with....stuff like that. The coming up with good sounding words thing. But I'll just go with the standard friends and family <3>

I wish people could learn to accept compliments. If I give you one, I mean it! I don't believe in doling out false compliments. I've refrained from automatically returning a compliment when I receive one. It's giving one out of obligation instead of truth. Unless I really like your shirt. Then I'll return the compliment. Disagreeing with one is one thing, but don't shoot it down. Accept it and feel better!

Recently I've been asking my friends to describe me. My character, how I interact with other people, etc. Whenever I read I'm really aware of the character and it makes me wonder how others view me. I've asked my friends that know me the best, and I received "loud" probably the most. I also got funny, energetic/hyper, and sometimes obnoxious. Can't really disagree with the last one. I then proceeded to ask my friends about my serious side. The unanimous response was "What serious side?" I always thought I had one. It usually only comes out when I'm pissed or sad, but apparently it's not as prominent as I thought. Guess I wasn't as serious as I thought I was. But for better words, "Why so serious?"

I hate Christmas music. I hate it because I love it. It's always so. freaking. happy. And even now, at my age, I still get excited for Christmas, and my impatience kicks in. Every Christmas song I hear gets me more excited for the holidays, only to realize we still have a month to wait. I'm not really one for waiting. If I decide on something, I want it at that moment. It needs to get done NOW. Unless it's something I'd rather not do. Then I have a very passive, *shrugs*, "Eh, what the hell" attitude. Such a downfall.

I had some more important and deeper things to say, but the food and my sweater has made me all happy and go lucky. Yes, my sweater. It's cold and icky out, but I'm loving my warm sweater. And I'm full on delicious dessert. So everything else is irrelevant.

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Kills Joys --one word: orgasmic. Yep. It's that good. This is probably my favorite song from the new album, behind S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W. For me, this is the song I can't get enough of. Hope you know what I'm talking about. That one song you love so much that you want to do more than listen to it. You want to crawl inside of it, and hide yourself in the lyrics. Listening to it just isn't enough. Damn Gerard's voice and their way with lyrics!




"We can live forever if you've got the time".

"During the 1960's, I think, people forgot what emotions were supposed to be. And I don't think they've ever remembered". Andy Warhol

"I sort of enjoy the fact that I'm misunderstood most of the time. That's fine". Billy Joe Armstrong

I have no idea where this was said, but it made me laugh.
"We like to kidnap them in a van, and leave them somewhere dangerous. SURPRISE!". Gerard Way

Bansky

As always, Rachel.

Polaroid SX-70

I want this. Really badly.

I Got Troubled Thoughts and the Self Esteem to Match

Dear lord. I keep trying to start this post but always end up deleting it. Try number four. Might as well start with a too many song links. I couldn't pick, so I put them all.

Fell In Love Without You (Acoustic) - Motion City Soundtrack
It's just really too pretty.



Behind the Sea (Alternate Version) - Panic at the Disco
This song has to be one of my favorite, musically and lyrically. Ryan's voice is always so calming to me, so of course I own all the Young Veins songs (his band formed after leaving Panic).



What a Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy
This song always makes me emotional, not 100% sure why, but it really is beautiful. It has such memory to it, with old props from FOB music videos, cameos from people they've worked with, and their old songs in the background sung by Brendon, Alex DeLeon, and more. <3


That's all I have. Between all the shit thats going on right now, lets just end this little post with a song and call it a day.

"You have to be willing to get happy about nothing." - Andy Warhol

Unexpectedly Happening

I've been feeling very creative recently? Not me so much as inspiration to discover new artwork, photography, music, etc. These are currently some of my favorite works -

After the Fall - Hin Chua

Photo by Mitchell Davis

Lisa Oppenheim
Wolf City - photo from Michael Shirley's blog
The Hangover

And of course one of my favorite artists - Alex Pardee

One of my favorites, I'm pretty sure it's called "Eat Wounded".

Rebellowrez

Snoring Blood (4)

I See That We're Made of More than Blood and Bones

Brittany will be over in an hour so we can go to the football game *excited claps* so I figured while I sit in my hazardously messy room waiting to be cleaned, why not procrastinate and write a post. Homecoming was...last week? Two weeks ago? You can see the effect of highschool that has muddled my mind. It was...eh. Seemed like just another dance, but with the excuse to dress up. I'm not saying I had a bad time, but I'm also sure I could have had better. Most of it was my fault anyway. Before the night even started I wasn't in a great mood, hence my pissed off expression in all of the homecoming photos. I was never one for standing still and smiling anyway.

In other irrelevant news, I've decided to dye my hair. I wanted a piercing but of course the parents shot that one down...that was besides the point. I feel like I'm being in lost in the giant crowd that is highschool. I've always had this sort of desperate subconscious need to be different. To stand out admits the other walking American Eagle billboards. And with that I've turned to purple hair dye. No worries, my entire head will not be the color of "luscious lavender", only a strand. Left side, underneath, behind the ear. I was so excited when my parents agreed to let me do it...until it turns out that most of my friends did not. My response was an overall "ehh...whatever. It's your hair" with a few "just go for it! it'd be sweet!" and a couple "I wouldn't do it's" and one "Ew. Tacky.". But what the hell. I'm a teenager, we make mistakes, I'm going to dye my hair freaking purple if I want to! So what if the bleach destroys it? I'll just live my life with a strand of bleached/purple hair. It's all good.

One thing I didn't mention...it's all a bribe. Or "incentive" as my mom calls it. In order to be able to dye my hair I have to get straight A's for this first semester. *scoff* like that's going to happen. I'm struggling to keep a high B, like I would ever get all A's. Failing the past three personal essays in english and forgetting most of the french verbs on the test won't really help my cause either. Honors geometry is just a bitch. I mean, 101 verbs (legit.) for french. I'm sorry I couldn't remember what the verb cacher meant. Seems a little pointless that the coloring of the hair would be like a little rebellious thing to me, yet attached to it is the need for great grades. I don't think parents understand the extent of the homework, and what it entitles. My dad was worried because I had an 87% in geometry, that I had to get it up to an A. Their expectations seem to be hopelessly fastidious.

Yes, short post. But to make up here's a song to show my love for my friends.
Band of Skulls - Friends

And another song, listen to the entire thing, give it a chance. This song has permanently embedded itself in my mind. *starts to sing*

Matt & Kim - Cameras


Rachel

Just a little memory:

Symphony Solider

we live with such artistry.
we paint with blood,
a canvas love.
a broken heart is like a masterpiece,
for all too gaze...
a perfect frame.
but we're just human.

Alex DeLeon.

We'll Carry On

I've failed to mention my vacation, the one right before school had started. Not to bore you with all the minor details though. It was definitely fun, great to see everyone, but also exhausting. Mentally and physically. There's only so much family I can handle at once, and everyone crammed into a small house, I was going a little stir crazy. But getting to see the cousin was worth it, it seems that even with months apart at a time, we seem to snap right back into it. There are some things you can do with a cousin that you can't even do with you best of friends. Excuse me, a little summer reminiscing here.

I think I was born lacking the talent to take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture. I guess you could call it tunnel vision. It's just that I feel like so much is happening in my life right now, that it can kind of become overwhelming and when whatever I'm dealing with at the moment is over, I look back and say "What just happened? And where the fuck was my mind?" But it also seems that day by day my life is so unnaturally boring...? It's just the fact that sometimes you have this overwhelming of feelings and god I'm completely butchering my attempt to describe what's been happening. Why don't I just start lying: Right now my life is all puppies and rainbows and sunshine!

Meh. I'm being eaten by the homework monster. It's slowly chewing me up, making each hour of geometry seem much more monstrous. My utter procrastination problem never helps either. I think my technology is trying to make me fail highschool. Or at least that's my excuse.

In other news, people need to learn how to shut. the. hell. up. Yeah, thanks for telling me that, why don't you just walk on my emotions a little bit more? Just stomp them into the dirt, that's cool, as long as you told me what you thought I needed to know. If you know how I feel, then why are you telling me this? Thanks for letting me know you could care less.

I'd like to believe that there is a difference between telling something to someone that you know will hurt them, and putting your foot in your mouth. Because trust me, I'm quite capable of the latter. As my friends know, I could write a book about how not to say the things I say, and put your foot in your mouth. See I have this problem, where I tend to say things before I think about them...pretty much everyday. Either that or I say something that sounded SO much better in my head and it just came out wrong. My uncontainable mouth has led me to much embarrassment, I've hurt people I never meant to hurt, and much more drama then necessary. Combine that with the fact that I'm not always the best at keeping secrets and it's a wonder I still have friends. But to my friends who put up with me, I love you. Just saying.

I couldn't help it. I had to post this song. My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na

Didn't Love Break You In the First Place?

First day of highschool epicness today. Fueled by three hours of sleep! Summer turned me into an insomniac, so falling asleep around two am is good for me. Of course getting up for 5:30 is another story, but my body's become accustomed to running on under five hours of sleep. Maybe it's a good thing? But on another note, our school is utterly confusing. It's not that bad once you get the layout, but traveling around it only takes (pardon the exaggeration) a decade. Though I am looking forward to forging on and seeing what comes.

I know I've mentioned this before, but check out my love's blog? www.playmyheartstrings.blogspot.com I seem to be appearing in it quite often now and thought she deserved a shout out. It's unatural how we can't be apart for too long. Maybe it's from the fact that she lives a minutes walk away. During the summer, we went from spending almost every day together to a full brutal week of seperation. Sometimes we're act more like a couple then friends. We are "married" on facebook. It's not like it's wrong to have a friend that your super close with? I can just see what's going to happen in the future.
Me: (talking to guy about the Sadie Hawkins dance) Do you want to go to the Sadie's dance with me?
Guy: Uh I thought you were dating that Abby chick.
Me: *sighs*
I hope I did at least somewhat of a justice of explaining my friendship with my love. She's done a much better job.

I've always wondered what it means to be your own person. Yes, I look too much into things. It seems that when trying to 'be your own person', or at least attempting to be what it entitles, you end up being fake. Who you are is based off of the people around you, how you interpret it, and how you use in your own way. Which is also something I am still trying to figure out. In the midst of everyone else, there's you. Usually trying to find something that will seperate you from the masses. I honestly don't know what it truly means to be your own person. Maybe never letting anyone effect you? For better or worse? I try to be my own person, but I feel as if I'm lost in the shadow of other's that already have it figured out. I'm just a wannabee using them in an effort to make something that's better out of myself.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

"I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it."

" 'Be yourself' is the worse advice you can give someone."

I will find myself feeling shadowed sometimes. Feeling as if your eclipsed by a friend. One that's smarter, funnier, or prettier. I don't feel jealous, I love them all far too much for that. I just sit there as a supportive friend and wish I had more. I'll sit and see some complaining about the things I wish could secretly happen to me. That I would complain too, but also quietly revel in the excitement.

The mirror can be the enemy. Relfecting the thing you want to see least. Standing there and staring. Not feeling self hate, but a dull resolution that it's the best it's ever going to be, so you just have to suck it up and continue. But that doesn't require to love what you see. It simply entails admitting that that's all you got.

"Love yourself, for if you don't, how can you expect anyone else to love you?"

Maybe a post shouldn't consist of a teenager's problems and quotes provided by google. I seem to forget to mention all the great things in my life. My friends, whom I love to death; my family, which annoying as they can be at times, are still there for me; and the inexpressible joy I get from being able to sleep with the windows open, considering the air conditioner is not running. The child like insticts in me are pleased by small things: being able to open the windows, finding yummy food in the kitchen, and spending more money then necassary to get the things you want.


"I didn't invent the rainy day man, I just own the best umbrella."

Rachel - Je T'aime




Dan's soothing voice telling me he loves me just the way I am. Heaven much?

But Who Could Love Me I Am Out Of My Mind

I’ve noticed an unusually long time span between the last post and now, though no apologies. What’s happened? Still a lot of ‘I miss you’s and ‘we need to hang out’s sent out simply to …… my dog just jumped on top of my laptop. Freaking out, I push her away as hard as I could and yell. I think she’s mad at me now. She refuses to look at me. I’m getting the cold shoulder from my dog. What else are you supposed to do when a 60lbs dog with claws lands on top of an open laptop?

Summer days, drifting away. I’ve spent days doing nothing but eating and writing or who knows what on the computer. At one point I went through all 526 photos from This Providence on buzznet, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen all interviews and behind the scenes videos from them, and I’ve scoured through each members blog. But when you love a band, your willing to. Including spending more money than necessary to get their hoodie.

“They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts. “

I found this picture (tweeted by Gavin, guitarist for This Providence of course) and it made my day. With all the protest and hate, a good laugh was needed.

And of course, Prop 8. Simply put: Equality rules! I am truly grateful, though I don’t live in California, it was a happy day. The idea that members of the same sex weren’t allowed to marry is saying to me that they’re not allowed to love, and it’s something that I’ve never understood.

Fights with parents. Never ending. I praise the day that headphones were invented. Sometimes it’s big, and I end up in my room for the rest of the day, door shut blasting music. Other times it’s small and it’s soon forgotten. But either way we fight. A lot.  I just tell myself that it’s because I’m a teenager, and this is what we do. Through all the excuses, I know it’s still my fault, but when your hormones are raging out of control and your parents just refuse to listen, this is what results.

My self esteem levels are sinking. They’ll rise, only to fall again, hiding behind makeup and eyeliner. It’s sound petty, and let’s face it, it is, but it started with facebook. I found a profile for my old neighbor I lived next to in Texas. I thought he was cute back then, along with every other girl. When I found his profile, I was excited, I hadn’t seen him in over three years, what did he look like now? Answer? Hot. I was cursing at myself for moving away. Then looking down….there were 78 comments. All girls complimenting him, and him saying thanks and the likes. That made me realize, even if I was still there, I didn’t stand a chance. I was always the new girl, and when you’re new it seems as if your reputation is literally a jenga tower. One thing happens, and it all collapses. But I also felt that, why should I even friend him on facebook? He won’t remember me, we only talked on the bus, and all these girls commenting were a hell of a lot prettier too. Maybe it’s my natural born talent to look awful in every picture, while others never take a bad one. Maybe it’s my internal list of thing that bug me, like my unruly hair, glasses, or big nose. Shallow things like that. Friends can tell you “You look fine, your pretty” but it’s usually out of requirement because you made a degrading comment about yourself anyway. It’s just kind of a hindering moment when you don’t even feel good enough to friend a hot guy on facebook.

Just a little indulgent, pick me up song of mine.

entendre amour

Swear To Shake It Up

I like to say that summer is full of love, sunburns, and crazy things you do with friends. I’ve already covered the ‘crazy things with friends’, have yet to get sunburned, and noticed the love. A lot of my friends are getting boyfriends and I couldn’t be happier for them. Some have suffered breakups, and I’ve always been there to help. Sometimes I want to ask, “When is it my turn?”. I try to take summer one day at a time, but there’s almost a pressure to find a boyfriend. Single and proud of it?

Neighborhood douche bags. They’ve vandalized our house, smashed and stolen things, and attacked other houses. Neighbors have had to sleep in their car in hopes of catching the idiots, we’ve set up a video camera to record the night Disturbia-esque.  I’d just like to give them the middle finger and move on but I understand that my parents have other plans.

Posters cover my walls, I’m constantly pissed of at my parents, and I watch too many Brendon Urie videos on youtube with my friends. I feel like I’m living the american dream. Late night sleepovers, watching cute guys at the pool, and shutting the world out with my iPod. Maybe it’s not the traditional american dream…when I think american dream I think the 50’s or 80’s. It’s only the way you interpret it.

“Things have changed for me/but that’s ok/I feel the same/I’m on my way/and I say things have changed for me.”

“We’re still so young/desperate for attention.”

“Call me crazy/I was born to make a mess/would you love me still if I were to confess?”

Note: This is the live version

Rachel

Mad World

What is wrong with our world? Adam Lambert tweeted this picture saying ‘*sighs* God doesn’t hate.’  I feel for him, he is gay and Jewish, but I think this picture will shock anyone. I was at tears when I saw it.

This. Needs. To. Stop.

Hello, I’ve Missed You Quite Terribly

The title of my blog, C'est Suri Bon, is a lie. It's not all good. It's never all good. I thought about changing it, but decided to keep it. Might as well try to make it all good, right?

I just recently got back from a weeks vacation with the family. I was staying with my grandparents, who don't have a computer or wi-fi. It was definitely nice to take a break from Facebook and Twitter and all the other websites that waste my time. But to be honest, by the end of the week, I missed my laptop. It's good to take a break, to have days where you just shut the cell phone, computer, and everything else off. But a week was a long time for me, and coming home to find 50+ emails wasn't too exciting. It made me think of this generations need to be constantly connected. But I'm not going to talk about that, I've read to many articles about teens and their obsession with texting and the internet. Yes, we get it that we probably spend more time on the computer than we should, but it's annoying to be constantly reminded of it.

Anybody else notice what's up with Christofer Drew? For most people, he's known as NeverShoutNever. He was recently in Alternative Press and there seemed to be quite different views of him. Some people thought he was great, he believes in his music and not what the industry is saying, stuff like that. Others say he’s a jerk that doesn’t care about his friends and is a druggy (he’s admitted to smoking marijuana). Seeing as I’ve never met him, it doesn’t really matter to me, I just like his music…. in the video the pictures are of Chris

Speaking of music, has anybody else noticed how our music industry has gone down? I don’t listen to the radio anymore. It’s all the same annoying songs. I can’t tell you how many times I try to listen to the radio in hopes of proving myself wrong and all that comes up is “Riding Solo”. *sighs* There are many incredible bands out there *coughNeonTreescoughPanic!AttheDiscocough* but they are never on the radio. Another thing, is the fact that everything has gone digital. I read an article about it in Alternative Press, and it really was fascinating. I’m not that old, but I remember that if I wanted to hear music from my favorite bands (granted, it was Disney, but I was young) I would have to buy a CD. I would listen to the CD and know all the songs, then put another CD in. Now, with iPods and MP3 players, you can have thousands of songs with you at all times. I admit, it is extremely handy, and I love having my music with me everywhere I go, but there was almost something special about  buying a CD. You couldn’t listen to one song from the CD then put another in for another song. There was some sort of figures too, it was like that it takes like 1.000 downloads or something to make up for the profit of one CD. I don’t remember what it was though. I have to say that without my iPod I’d be lost though, especially when I need to drown out other people.

Rachel

Watch My Face As I Pretend to Feel No Pain

My head is so full of crap god help me. I feel like I suffer from identity crises and heartbreak, though have I ever truly loved? The words don't flow, nor do they pour our in anguish. Instead they are halted and mixed up. Trying to convey emotions threatening to overflow.

Little trifles that keep me up at night and jumble my head. Was it romance? Or just hormones leading me on in hopeless confusion? Time being the enemy, though that sounds like it came out of a novel written long ago. The separation and time wrecking what I had managed to build up in the limited hours.

And then I lose myself, trying so hard to express feelings and groping for the right words. In entirety, life is good, but that feeling of wanting is there. To say, as much as I want to, that I wish my life wasn't mine, is wrong. The small sufferings that would be pointless to explain, as they come out incomprehensible. To want to live anothers life is stupid, selfish, and ungrateful, yet don't we all?

I feel that inside my head is organized chaos, yes, an oxymoron. And no one would no what to do with that organized chaos, not even me. But that's my point. To ask the simple question, "Who am I?". Just stupid confusion twisted into as if a secret code. Meaning hidden behind the useless words.

And there's him. People would laugh, at times I even find myself laughing and saying, "You stupid hopeful girl." Rereading and wondering what the hell I was thinking. But remembering the memories makes it real and I wonder if I really was that crazy. Yet the relapses that threaten to more questioning. It's all just nonsense hidden underneath trying to escape. But do I even want it to escape?



Rachel - Je T'aime?

And Let the Drum Beat Drop

Before I start, quick shout out to my friend Abby. Her blog is http://www.playmyheartstrings.blogspot.com/ check it out? It's like mine, but much deeper and she lists her music too but she knows way more bands than me. Every once and a while we'll list bands to find one that the other person hasn't heard of yet in an attempt to pwn. But that's just because we're odd children.

In an attempt to do something somewhat interesting this summer, I started a drawing. I plan on shading all of it except for painting a little color in it, probably his guitar. This is the picture I chose to draw:

It's a picture of Jer Coons, one of my top favorite music artist. Here is mine so far, and yes I know there is no face, I just haven't got to it yet.

What do you think? Few notes first, what do you think about his hand? His index finger is supposed to be wrapped around the next of the guitar and I tried to recreate that, but it might look like his finger is abnormally short. And I need the fix the head of the guitar, it looks 2D while the rest of the guitar is 3D. I started it yesterday afternoon, that's pretty good progress right? It took me a long time to shade his left leg but I think it turned out pretty well. I'm wondering about the face though, I've never done a piece of art before with a face! Hope it turns out good. Oh and I've already been critiqued thoroughly by a very artistic friend. She says that his shoulders are a little too broad and it looks like he's shrugging while the scarf needs to be longer, and she can't tell if it's a scarf or guitar strap or whatever. But I'm trying haha.

On another probably boring note, I bought an iTouch! I've wanted one for a while, but there was nothing wrong with my iPod nano (4th generation). But I'd saved up enough money and needed more space than 8GB anyway so I bought a 32GB iPod Touch! I must say I'm enjoying it thoroughly though I didn't really need the Internet access, I already have a laptop. But now that it has more space I can hold all of my videos and my 300+ songs and 60+ Elvis songs! Yep, what a lot of people don't know, I'm obsessed with Elvis. It all started in 6th grade when we did a project called 6th Grade Assessment. We had to pick a topic, anything at all, to research and create either a poster/presentation or PowerPoint/presentation. I decided to stray away from the sports (which most guys were doing) and Egyptian theme (which most girls were doing). I have to say it got me hooked. A lot of that information helped during National History Day. This years theme was "Innovation in History" so I decided to do something completely different from what everyone else was doing (...again) and went with rock and roll. Twas quite a fun project...except for the procrastination and the crying-at-one-in-the-morning-the-day-before-it's-due-because-I-hadn't-done-anything....don't' ever use me as an example when it comes to 5 month projects like that.

My heart has recently been broken thanks to one of my favorite bands of all time, Neon Trees. When I found out that they were coming to my city on tour, let me just say I beyond spazzed. It wasn't that far away and the ticket price wasn't bad, it was general admission. So you can understand my complete and utter disappointment when I found out I would be gone visiting family that entire week. My summer was crushed right there for a little bit. It's a good thing I have the Adam Lambert Glam Nation Tour concert to look forward too(: if he does a meet and greet and I get a picture/signing I am peeing my pants. Literally. On other music news....Adam shaved half of his head!!! I was on twitter and he posted a picture of him with his big circus hat he wore in the "If I Had You" music video. Except the side the hat was leaning away from was shaved! Just a little bit of black hair stubble....I threw a fit in my room. Can you tell I have extreme fits of emotion in my room because of my loves? Anyway I was insanely upset but then he tweeted that it was only half his head. Which isn't bad....but what will it look like without his hat on? Question mark! *breaks out into song* "Questions for questions I've got a question/Would you ever dance with me like that?" Sorry.... that was from a quite enjoyable Neon Trees song *sobs*. Sometime I wish I could hand someone my iPod and they could know all of my many many songs instantly so they wouldn't feel awkward if I rocked out and sang along to a song they don't know. It happens quite often, but then again we all have random wishes.

During the summer I have a tendency to stay up insanely late every night. My mom is always working at the gym in the morning anyway, so why do I need to get up early? Besides the point, a couple nights ago it was around two in the morning and I just had this overwhelming...emotion. It's hard to explain but I felt like crying. It wasn't like a breakdown or anything, just an overwhelming wave of emotion. So I just typed this into my iPod. At two in the morning...and this is what I came up with.

For Only a Moment

The feelings don't end

A crash of the waves

Only to fade back out to the sea

Uninvited and obtrusive

One minute it appears

The Wave

Leaving you lost and confused as people

Continue along side you

Painfully unaware and oblivious

It retreats slowly dragging the sand with it

Questions appear

You doubt yourself

Your motives

Actions past and present

Tears will fall signaling the end

Welcome or not they come

Resulting in a lame poem to release the heartbreak.

I know it's not the best of poems but it was one of those things where you had all these emotions and you don't know how to let them out so you write a poem. At least that's what I do. Well either that or take a shower but like I said earlier, I'm an odd child. Oh and be grateful I shared that. That was a personal thing. But then again who reads this? (Besides Abby and Catie....holla!)

You know what I hate? (Yep, it's rant time) Inside jokes. They bug the shit out of me. They do they really do. First of all, if your with a group of friends and they share a couple inside jokes its ok you just pretend you didn't hear them. I mean we all do that don't we? It makes you feel good knowing you have something that someone else doesn't. But after a while, you know its time to stop. But some people don't. They go on and on and on and on about this random inside crap and when you do decide to ask them (though you sound stupid) they'll make it even worse by going "You won't get it. It's a long story." Wow guys. Way to make me feel loved. To be honest, I have friends that do this. Ever since we were separated on different teams we only saw each other during our homeroom which is still plenty of time but their other group of friends....holy shit do they just LOVE those inside jokes that seem to last forever. (I'm sorry, I know my language is a little explicit so to say during this paragraph but it tends to irk me). Oh and if your one of my friends (you know who I'm talking about) that just happens to read this...um....yeah awkward. But I feel like my follower(s?) deserve to know this. This blog is kind of like my little public diary. But trust me I'm not stupid enough to put anything to personal...or my address or something like that. Hello creepers? Yep this is awkward. I have a feeling they are just reading it now..... new topic! I hope I wasn't wrong to post this...

Well as I scramble for a somewhat interesting new topic to cover the awkward fact that my friends I was just talking about now are probably reading this....The House on Mango Street. I have to read it this summer for next year and its probably the most confusing thing. Well the actual book isn't, but the introduction is. The author is constantly switching between first, second, third, and fourth person. Is there even a fourth person? I thought there was. I know that first person is like "I did this/I said that" etc. and second is "He walked there/She ate this" etc. Isn't third person "You did this"? I'm not sure. You'd think I'd know this. Anyway the author uses "I" and "You" in the same paragraph. Twas quite confusing. But as it is required I just kind of push through and figure that with a little help from my buddy Google it shouldn't be too hard.

Quick update for those of you following my story on FanFiction/FictionPress. I've been working on chapter three (Hint: Ch 3 is called "My Beautiful Rescue"....that's not really a hint never mind) and my goal is to have it up by this Saturday. I want to start making the chapters longer, because lets face it, two and a half pages is not a chapter. It's ridiculously short. Right now chapter three is at....um two and a half pages. My goal is four but I'm not going by page count. I can not WAIT (emphasis on the not wait part) for the insane twist! I haven't told anyone at all and its bugging me but I really want to keep it a secret. And for my close friends, you know I'm awful at keeping secrets. As much as I want to write the twist right NOW I mean lets face it, it will be a very very fun twist to write, I can't rush into it, it would ruin the story. So I just continue on....everyone thinks the "one night" is sexual. As in my short little summary (This is Victoria's seventh move. But then she befriends Adam, a bisexual high school misfit, until one night changes it all.) Just let me say this: IT'S NOT A SEXUAL NIGHT! Sorry for yelling haha but just to clear that up. People assume that just because in the very first intro before chapter one it was talking about Victoria's heartbreak and stuff like that but argh I can't say anything more. I might give it away! Watch, I'll write the twist and people will be like "what?". Total anticlimactic. And for those who have NO idea what I'm talking about: www.fictionpress.com/~rachelkeeler Some may not like the story, but for me, it is a complete indulgence. It really is. It's hard for some people to understand but when you write...I can't explain it. I'll just say that writing The Keys gets hard at points but it's my indulgence.

Oh summer. You see what you do to me? You turn me into an insomniac that writes too long blog posts and attempts at drawing. Holy crap! I almost forgot! You guys deserve a great song for sticking through this entire post haha. This song, called I Am Not a Robot by Marina and the Diamonds, was a free single of the week on iTunes and I have been completely in love with it! The beginning is a little odd but I love the entire song. Especially the part before the chorus where she sings "You're vulnerable/You're vulnerable/But you are not a robot/You're lovable/So lovable/but you're just troubled" and at the end of the bride when it goes "let the drum beat drop" (homage to today's blog post title). The music video is pretty good, simple, but good. I like all of the body paint/makeup job. Tis quite odd at first but you get to accept the creativity behind it. My favorite makeup was definitely the jewels but when they show her whole face with that look....is it just me or does she look Asian? Ok I'll stop typing, you can watch it now(:

Ok this post twas quite long and for some reason it wasn't showing up the spaces between paragraphs. I hope it shows when I publish it, if not, je suis desole. I'm much obliged that you were checkin' out meh blog. That sounded like a western accent. Can your text sound like anything? Oh my mind. Stranger things have happened.

Rachel - Je T'aime

Quick note before I go...I use dictionary.com a lot and being the nerd I am, I'm obsessed with their word of the day. So if you see a lot of odd/big words in my story that's why. Today's is "oscitant" meaning to yawn, as with drowsiness. I like that word, make sure to keep a lookout for it in my story! Haha the spell checker on Blogger told me it was spelt wrong, it's not even in their dictionary! *I point and laugh*

Love Is Not a Victory March

Cupcakes. I must be the master of them by now. Ok...so...(can you tell there is a long story coming on?) My friend has been absent for the past two days and I didn't think anything of it. Friends are absent for a couple days, they come back, all is normal. But then I heard she got a concussion....? I know right? So I called her and it turns out that she flipped over the front of her bike and hit her head. She couldn't remember anything for a while but it's all come back to her now. She will be back in tomorrow for half a day (she was told not to do a lot of thinking....?) so I made cupcakes! I made them, frosted them with homemade icing, and sprinkled them! Am I a good friend or what? Haha but for my birthday I made mini cupcakes out of a normal cake batter mix. I ended up with about an army (80) of mini cupcakes. I'm also making this massive card for everyone to sign. Other friends will be jealous they aren't as thoughtful as me. Well I did spend about two hours on the cupcakes. Ok just to let you know that I'm kidding, and I'm not conceited. I missed her so I made cupcakes!


Anybody else sick of the whole vampire craze lately? It seems that whenever I go to the library and find a book that looks interesting, it has to have a vampire in it!I just read the book, Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side. Yes I know the title is a little lame but it's a good book. When I first started reading it I had to sigh. Teenage girl, hot male vampire, love, blah blah blah. But when I found out that the girl was the last of the Dragomirs, a royal vampire family I spazzed. Actually I mini spazzed. In the series The Vampire Academy(a very good series!) one of the main characters is Lisa Dragomir and she is one of the royal families, yet she is the last of the Dragomir family. Sound familiar? Ugh anyway, it turned out to be a really good book. I was hoping it would be an awful rip-off so I could complain...but it wasn't. I can't say there was some insane twist, but it was a nice romance book. And you know I'm a sucker for those...(no pun intended).

These finals are INSANE! On Monday I had my Math and History final, the two hardest ones. So what did I do the weekend before finals? On Saturday I went shopping then hung out around my house. On Sunday I didn't get up until around 10:30, puttered around the house until 12:00, then after that I did a little math practice, procrastinate, little more math, go on my laptop, etc. It wasn't until the last five hours that I buckled down and hit that history review packet hard. It took forever and I ended up with an insane amount of note cards. I hate note cards. They take WAY too long to make. But they are they best way to study (personally). After the final was over my friend went to throw out my huge stack of note cards and I just went, "Wait! Don't throw those out!" It made sense, I mean school is over in 1 1/2 days and I had finished the history final. I just seemed like a waste. I mean I spent so long making those note cards, and then just to throw them all away!? They are sitting in my backpack now....I don't know what to do with them! I think I'm going to have to throw them away, in case I become a hoarder. Have you ever seen that show? Hoarders? Scary stuff man.

Like I said earlier, we only have 1 1/2 more days of school. It scares me actually. I don't want school to end! Yes I'm one of those people. I'm not going to go on "Oh! I love school!" but I do like it. It's a way to see my friends everyday no matter what (unlike some frequently absent people *coughcough*) and I sometimes enjoy just sitting down and doing a worksheet. Just some solid work. Especially math. I like math, and most of the time I don't mind doing problems. Yes I know, I have issues. But isn't that a good quality for someone who wants to be a math teacher? Anyway I'm really hoping to make this summer special. I'm sick of the summers of just sitting around watching TV, and now that I have a laptop *internal shudders*. So I've started to create some summer goals. These are just couple I've had in my head, and I'm bound to have a long list soon.
Rachel's Summer Goals: (Yes, I have an official list and everything!)
1. Have a summer romance (doesn't have to last, just a nice summer fling(: )
2. Finish my story (I really want to make it the best it can!)
3. Excel at piano and guitar (I mean with all this free time, why not practice?)
4. Make a painting (Like we did in art class, though this time it won't be a toucan!)
5. Make a scrapbook(maybe) documenting this school year!
6. Become more musically educated (yes I know this is weird, but I am constantly on the hunt for more amazing unknown bands! Recently I've been obsessing over Alternative Press. For those of you that live under a rock (just kidding) Alternative Press is a magazine. Look it up?)
If you have any ideas, let me know! But I'm not going to be the person that is always going, "Subscribe! Comment!" it gets to bug me after a while. But I'm always open to suggestions, and there is a comment box *winkwink* haha just kidding.

Ok so I have this dilemma. Well, it's not really a dilemma. Just a minor problem. I'm looking for a summer hairstyle. I need to find one hairstyle that's cute, easy, and quick (under 15-20 min). I mean it's summer, you want to look cute, but not spend an hour every morning getting ready! The problem is, I don't like ponytails....well I do but my bangs will always fall out (ugh!). If I just leave it natural, it gets all wavy and curly, which isn't bad, but it leads to frizz. Most every morning I straighten my hair best I can. For me it reduces frizz and keeps it (somewhat) straight. Anyway that was just random, sorry. Onto bigger and better things...(that's what she said?)

As always, I have a song! It's called Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. It's not really a religious song though. I have it on my iPod because it was from the Shrek album, but I've fallen in love with it. Lee D-something that I can't spell (the winner of American Idol) did a cover of it, but I think the original is much better.


Oh and is anyone else excited for Kate Plus 8? I was always such a closet fan of Jon & Kate Plus 8 but it was canceled. To be honest, I don't like Jon, and don't care much for Kate, but I love their kids! Maddy, Cara, Hannah, Leah, Alexis, Aiden, Collen, Joel, anyone? Haha oh and I did not Google that! I'm about halfway through the first episode of the new Kate Plus 8 series!

Sorry it took so long to get this post out, but I've been writing it over the course of a couple days, you deserved a longer post(: Merci de verifier sur mon blog! Translate it people.

Rachel - Je T'aime

You're Never Gonna Go. Dropped, Watcha Got Now?

I recently went on music overload. I bought myself a $30 iTunes gift card, came home, and spent it all. I told my parents and there were all, "You spent it all at once!?" and I was just like, "Um...yeah." But in my defense I had a list of songs I wanted to get. I ended up getting Panic! At the Disco's entire "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" album, songs from bands like The Hush Sound, This Providence, Phantom Planet, Neon Trees, and a lot of other really good bands that nobody has heard of. And of course I had to get OMG by Usher, Airplanes by B.o.B. feat. Hayley Williams, and some Paramore songs. Here is just one of the songs I got out of over 45... (ignore the creepy music video)



Today in school we had an assembly about Internet safety (again). To be honest, every time they talk about it, it scares the crap out of me and I run home onto my laptop and go through my Facebook, Twitter, this blog, etc. and look for things just in case creepers are out there (and they are). They did an example of how easy it is to find information. Within the 45 min. period they had pulled this girls name, address, family member's name, phone number, likes/interests, etc. It was freaking me out. But then again the girl was stupid enough to put 'this is my phone number, when I'll be home to call, and people's names to speak to'. All because she was looking for retired...beanie babies. Yes. This girl (Amanda01) will get abducted because she wanted beanie babies. Now I understand that the example they gave us was fake but still...anyway to my followers out there: be safe! My family has always had a rule that if you aren't comfortable printing out the page and hanging it on the fridge, then you shouldn't be on it. Well that goes for more along the lines of inappropriate websites but still. Oh Internet. What a sweet and deadly(!?) thing.


In drama news, all is (somewhat) good. I've started to have little 'tiffs' with some of my friends if that's what you want to call it. They aren't fights, just were you both get really annoyed at each other and pretty much put each other in a shun bubble for the rest of the day, maybe tomorrow, and then by the third day at the latest everything is fine. It must be the 'end-of-year' fever. Along with the drama, I've noticed a lot of people, including my friends, have been getting boyfriends. This isn't really drama per say, but it's nice to see my friends in a relationship. Having a boyfriend can provide something that friendship can't; it's hard to understand.

In school news, finals still. We don't have the actual tests until the last three days of school (failure) but I have the English and history writing essay tomorrow. I hate essays. Not to brag, but I'm not bad, maybe even good? Haha but either way they suck. To expect us to 'try our hardest and take our time' in under 45 minutes is cruel.

Now the usual ending paragraph. 1. Sorry for the shorter post (they will be longer when the finals are over) 2. Thanks for reading my blog(: 3. Oh and our house has been invaded by bugs. I just had to flush my third bug down the toilet *shudder*

Rachel - Je T'aime

The Kids Just Want To Be Left On the Other Side

It's official, chapter two is up! If you don't know what I'm talking about, I wrote a story called The Keys ('This is Victoria's seventh move. She befriends Adam, a bisexual high school misfit, until one night changes it all.') Check it out? www.fanfiction.com/~rachelkeeler

Who wants to hear about my problems? I know this is going to seems shallow but I am fully aware that there are people out there with problems much greater than mine. Our neighbors next door have a dog. It's a small fluffy Pomeranian. The problem is is that they tie it outside and it barks constantly. Its that annoying yapping bark and it just won't shut up! When I sleep with my windows open that barking is the thing that keeps me up at night and wakes me up first thing in the morning. The only time it's quiet is when they have it inside. Now I know about half of you will laugh at my misfortune, while the other half will feel my pain because you've suffered from this before.

Ok here is a song that I found I don't even know when. It was a free single of the week on iTunes and I just listened to it. I personally think it's good but be warned...it's odd. I think it takes a certain taste to like this song, its not something that everyone will like. It's called The Mama Papa by Plants and Animals. Anyway, enjoy(:



I know this is a shorter post than normal, je suis desole. Mais, j'ai une amie, elle est sleeping over later! My lame francias-transition-anglais. That's all for now. Thanks for checking out my blog (and story?)

Rachel - Je T'aime

The Keys

It is so hot here, the lotion is melting off my legs. Ever since I lived in Texas for two years, I've loved the heat, so I'm not complaining. J'adore the heat. Where I live, the weather is awful. It changes constantly, but most of the time it's cold. This change is welcome. Of course we did suffer from the snowpocalypse this February, it was brutal. I ended up missing over a week and a half of school!

I recently started writing a story. I've written a lot of random short stories, but most of them are really bad and never get finished. I started one called The Keys. I've posted it on FanFiction. I'm only one chapter in so far, but I've been working trying to continue it. I have a big twist I want to include, and every time I want to stop writing, I think about that twist that I want to add so badly. Here is the link, thanks for checking it out: http://www.fanfiction.com/~rachelkeeler

School has started becoming hectic, and I know it's only going to get worse. Tomorrow we have a school picnic for half the day, so our schedule is running on a half day one. Thursday our entire grade gets to go to a local amusement park! On Friday we have a graduation ceremony, then leave school (I'm going to Ichiban with friends), and come back for the dance later. Next come finals. Teachers have already started talking about them, and just the mention of 'finals' stresses me out. I keep thinking about all the studying I have to do and I just collapse. Wish me luck.

Summer is getting closer and closer. Our school is over June 9th....or 10th I'm not sure. You would think that I would know that. Anyway I have been getting so excited, thinking about my summer plans. It turns out that I get to visit old family friends while I'm visiting family in Vermont. They recently got two horses that I get to ride! I'm not a big horse person, but who wouldn't at least want to try it? It was their son that taught me how to drive an old stick shift, hopefully I can get more practice this summer before I get my license! It is Vermont let me remind you, and their house is on this huge hill with fields beyond, perfect for driving cars or riding horses, did I mention they have a pool? Not to make it seem that I only visit them for the things they own, I always have a fun time with them at their house or not.

With the summer starting soon, it makes me think about the next school year. I know it's a far ways away but I always love the beginning of the school year. The shopping for school supplies is fun. I'm not sure why, but I love having empty notebooks and binders just waiting to be filled with papers/notes/folders etc. Of course the new school wardrobe(: and you get to reinvent yourself. Sure it's the same people from last year, but summer is the time for change. People become hotter *winkwink*, different hairstyles, different personalities, etc. So fun!

Before I go, here is a song that I just happen to love.


You know the drill....thanks for checking out my blog.

Rachel - Je T'aime

You Were Like a Walking Compliment

Oh what a day. There was an accident either last night or this morning, I'm not sure. There was a high school kid that ran into a telephone pole, which in result knocked another pole over. Since I arrived in school this morning, to when I left in the afternoon, we were out of power. There were no lights in classrooms, we had to go by the lights from the windows, and there were about 4 lights per hallway, all lit by our failing generator. Kids took this as leave to call their parents and leave. Phones were out without a concern, kids were texting and calling their parents, asking them to pick them up. I admit, I tried. First my mom offered to bring me lunch, as I was buying and the only food they had was crappy, cold sandwiches. Why can she bring me lunch but not pick me up? Then later my dad texted me and told me that they would pick me up....at 2:30. We are dismissed from homeroom at 2:26! By the end of the day, we had an average of about 10 kids per class, when there was supposed to be 30. It was eventful and fun though, even if we couldn't do anything in class. My french teacher kept saying, "It's not like we're being held hostage! There is no reason for kids to be leaving!" I have to say I agree with her. Some people just left. They just walked off our campus. That's when the school started freaking out, and kept constantly calling people down to the office either to tell them that their parents were here to pick them up or to verify that they were still in school!

On a different note, I haven't had a song obsession. Usually I find one good song a week that I am obsessed with, and must be playing it constantly...until I get sick of it and don't want to hear it again. Then I move to another song, and so the cycle continues. I haven't had one song in particular though, but here is one anyway. Enjoy(:



Did you ever wonder where I get the titles to my posts? Usually it relates somehow to one of the topics covered in each post, but sometimes it's just a song lyric from the song I post. For example, "you were like a walking compliment", is a lyric from Little Bribes. That song has so many interesting lyrics, but that one was my favorite.

Now a topic different then music(: Drama. I hate it. At school, it can always be found. I try to avoid drama no matter what. This year I have successfully stayed out of drama, just helping my friends cope with drama of their own. As we are getting older, I notice more and more boy drama. Not saying that we are boy-phobic, and boys are a foreign thing meant to stare at but not touch, just there is more drama about who made out with who instead of who said what and who called who a bitch. But trust me, there is still plenty of that. My goal is to stay out of it, just live life day by day, and be conscious of my choices.

That's all for now. As always, thanks for reading my blog.

Rachel - Je T'aime

Let Me Out of this Dream

I've recently had this song on repeat on my iPod. If there is only one song you listen to this week, make it this one. The verses are slow but the chorus is unique and catchy, I hope you enjoy. But don't worry, not all songs I post on here will be Adam Lambert or Neon Trees(:



Another thing I wanted to bring up is books. I know I'm a nerd, I read way to much, but one thing I found was the kind of books I enjoy the most. This is going to sound weird, but I enjoy 19th century (that's the 1800's) romance. Don't ask my why, but I just do. Some good books I've found are, A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray (along with the second and third books to this), The Luxe by Anna Godbersen which I am currently reading, and Ransom My Heart by Meg Cabot, that one was extremely good, yet was not a child's book just let me say.

Besides for the 19th century romance, I also enjoy books simply about teenagers their lives. Just Listen by Sarah Dessen was good, but a little more drama and romance would have made it much better. Pants on Fire by Meg Cabot was extremely good. There were interesting twists that made the book more than just your average teenager book. On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God by Louise Rennison was also good. It was the sequel to the book Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging which was made into a movie which had me laughing, shocked, and feeling all around happy when the movie was over.. On the Bright Side... takes place in England and is the diary of an extremely witty and funny high school girl named Georgia Nicolson.

This is going to seem random, but smells have always been a big thing in my life. For example, I refuse to light candles, wear lotion, or use anything that smells or resembles vanilla during the summer. Vanilla is a winter smell in my mind, and should only be used then. Certain smells like the deodorant I used all during 7th grade (the brand/smell...not the same bottle!) always reminds me of that year, my friends, my teachers, etc. One lotion by St. Ives, I think it's called the Collagen Elastin lotion always reminds me of the first cruise I took with my family, as that was the lotion my mom and I always used. But for our second cruise, it's the smell of Victoria's Secret Very Sexy 2 lotion that reminds me of my second cruise. I still use it every once and a while just to remember all the fun I had on that cruise. I don't know what the smell will be for this year (I usually have a certain spray or lotion I use all during the school year which is why I remember it so prominently in the future), but I have a feeling it will be Victoria's Secret Pink Sweet & Flirty lotion and body spray or Bath and Body Works lotion in Berry (one of the summer vanillas, but I'm not a hypocrite, it doesn't smell like vanilla at all). I guess I'm just weird like that.

I would make this post longer but my homework is waiting very patiently! As always, thanks for checking out my blog.

Rachel - Je T'aime

Lets Go Back to 1983

As you may or may not know, I am obsessed with the band Neon Trees, my top favorite of their songs are Sins of My Youth, 1983, Animal, and Calling My Name.



This song always gets me thinking about what it would be like to grow up as a teen during the 1980's (my second choice would be the late 50's). Maybe it's the music that makes me want to live back then, or the crazy styles. I have to say VH1's Top 100 Songs of the 80's was very interesting(: The top 3 were as follows:
3. Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran
2. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
1. Livin' On a Prayer - Bon Jovi
I'm not sure, but something about these songs, when I listen to them, transports me back.

I was recently with a friend and we started looking at wedding dresses together. I had never thought about my wedding before. Who would be there? Would there be a theme? What would the cake and decorations look like? I've decided I want a simple yet elegant strapless a-line with either a normal waistline or basque waistline. Here are a couple I found on KleinfeldBridal.com






What do you think? My other friends are fans of mermaid dresses, yet you have to be tall to pull them off. I could, but I feel that they can be awkward sometimes, but I can't judge. Until my day when I get to try those dresses on for real, I can just imagine my wedding(:

One thing I feel very strong about yet few people understand is being aware of the sun. I think it's important for everyone to be aware on how cautionary you must be. I always put on moisturizer with at least SPF 15. Skin cancer is a serious thing that everyone is forgetting about. So to the cast of Jersey Shore I wish you well with your tanning addiction, and when your 30 and have skin cancer all over your body, it's not my fault.

I know this post was shorter than my other ones but as always thanks for reading and check back soon.

Rachel - Je T'aime

There Are No Boundaries

First post! Let me tell you about myself first. My name is Rachel, and I'm in love with my friends. After moving six times, you really come to appreciate your group of friends and the bonds you share. I'm definitely very close with all of my friends, more so than friends from any other state. That's why without them, my heart would stop. I'm also in love with music, preferably alternative rock/pop. If I had to pick, the top three artists/bands I listen to constantly is Adam Lambert, Neon Trees.... and oh god it's so hard to pick just three! My third would have to be Jer Coons. I also have been playing piano for four years and guitar for two. Besides music though, I participate in fencing and track.

So just recently I had a sleepover with some close friends of mine. We happened to have one conversation particularly deep. First we talked about quantum physics and what it is. My one friend described it as the study of the mind and the brain, to which I responded, "Aren't they the same thing?". It turns out that scientists are studying the two things separately. It was a long conversation, and I was easily confused. I am a mathematical person. There is always a problem, and one right solution, the answer to what 'x' equals. But with science, you hypothesize, there are theories, different results, etc. Another topic we discussed was the universe. When you think about.... how big is the universe really? Our sun looks big, yet there are other stars out there 1,000 times bigger! And trying to comprehend just how big the universe is.... does it ever end? It just isn't understandable, maybe because there is nothing on earth big enough to compare to the size of the universe which is why we can't comprehend it.

On another note, this past Friday was rough. A student at our high school committed suicide the day before at his house by hanging. Our school was silent, as the realization sunk in. Many people had mixed feelings. Some knew the kid well and were seen crying, others just sat in silence, while others had the nerve to be disrespectful enough to go, "Did you hear about the stupid kid that offed himself?". There was a memorial service held in the morning outside the school to remember the student.

The school year is winding down, and all I can think about is the upcoming summer. Every year I say to myself, "Rachel, this is going to be the best summer of your life!" as I try to think of all the fun things I can do. Yet every year, I find myself sitting on the couch watching TV or glued to the computer. My goal this year is to be creative, write a story, go on an adventure. Anything other than sitting in front of the TV watching mind numbing crap. My friends and I are planning to buy a Slip n' Slide to help pass the summer. My mom also just recently bought tickets for me and my friend to go see Adam Lambert this summer on his Glam Nation Tour! I've been spazzing for the past week.

I've been feeling inspired recently. I was sitting in my room on my laptop and I just got this burst of inspiration, either to start this blog, write or song/book, whatever it is. That's why I titled this entry "There Are No Boundaries". It actually comes from the chorus of an Adam Lambert song called "No Boundaries" and it goes "With every step you climb another mountain/with every breath it's harder to believe/you'll make it through the pain/weather the hurricanes/to get to that one thing/just when you think the road is going no where/when you almost gave up on your dreams/they take you by the hand/and show you that you can/there are no boundaries." Just listening to the song raises my spirits, but one thing I've always wondered is who is "they"? Who takes you by the hand? I guess it's left up to the listener. To me I imagine it being my true friends, as they are always there for me.

That's it for now, thanks for checking out my blog.

Rachel - Je T'aime