Swear To Shake It Up

I like to say that summer is full of love, sunburns, and crazy things you do with friends. I’ve already covered the ‘crazy things with friends’, have yet to get sunburned, and noticed the love. A lot of my friends are getting boyfriends and I couldn’t be happier for them. Some have suffered breakups, and I’ve always been there to help. Sometimes I want to ask, “When is it my turn?”. I try to take summer one day at a time, but there’s almost a pressure to find a boyfriend. Single and proud of it?

Neighborhood douche bags. They’ve vandalized our house, smashed and stolen things, and attacked other houses. Neighbors have had to sleep in their car in hopes of catching the idiots, we’ve set up a video camera to record the night Disturbia-esque.  I’d just like to give them the middle finger and move on but I understand that my parents have other plans.

Posters cover my walls, I’m constantly pissed of at my parents, and I watch too many Brendon Urie videos on youtube with my friends. I feel like I’m living the american dream. Late night sleepovers, watching cute guys at the pool, and shutting the world out with my iPod. Maybe it’s not the traditional american dream…when I think american dream I think the 50’s or 80’s. It’s only the way you interpret it.

“Things have changed for me/but that’s ok/I feel the same/I’m on my way/and I say things have changed for me.”

“We’re still so young/desperate for attention.”

“Call me crazy/I was born to make a mess/would you love me still if I were to confess?”

Note: This is the live version

Rachel

Mad World

What is wrong with our world? Adam Lambert tweeted this picture saying ‘*sighs* God doesn’t hate.’  I feel for him, he is gay and Jewish, but I think this picture will shock anyone. I was at tears when I saw it.

This. Needs. To. Stop.

Hello, I’ve Missed You Quite Terribly

The title of my blog, C'est Suri Bon, is a lie. It's not all good. It's never all good. I thought about changing it, but decided to keep it. Might as well try to make it all good, right?

I just recently got back from a weeks vacation with the family. I was staying with my grandparents, who don't have a computer or wi-fi. It was definitely nice to take a break from Facebook and Twitter and all the other websites that waste my time. But to be honest, by the end of the week, I missed my laptop. It's good to take a break, to have days where you just shut the cell phone, computer, and everything else off. But a week was a long time for me, and coming home to find 50+ emails wasn't too exciting. It made me think of this generations need to be constantly connected. But I'm not going to talk about that, I've read to many articles about teens and their obsession with texting and the internet. Yes, we get it that we probably spend more time on the computer than we should, but it's annoying to be constantly reminded of it.

Anybody else notice what's up with Christofer Drew? For most people, he's known as NeverShoutNever. He was recently in Alternative Press and there seemed to be quite different views of him. Some people thought he was great, he believes in his music and not what the industry is saying, stuff like that. Others say he’s a jerk that doesn’t care about his friends and is a druggy (he’s admitted to smoking marijuana). Seeing as I’ve never met him, it doesn’t really matter to me, I just like his music…. in the video the pictures are of Chris

Speaking of music, has anybody else noticed how our music industry has gone down? I don’t listen to the radio anymore. It’s all the same annoying songs. I can’t tell you how many times I try to listen to the radio in hopes of proving myself wrong and all that comes up is “Riding Solo”. *sighs* There are many incredible bands out there *coughNeonTreescoughPanic!AttheDiscocough* but they are never on the radio. Another thing, is the fact that everything has gone digital. I read an article about it in Alternative Press, and it really was fascinating. I’m not that old, but I remember that if I wanted to hear music from my favorite bands (granted, it was Disney, but I was young) I would have to buy a CD. I would listen to the CD and know all the songs, then put another CD in. Now, with iPods and MP3 players, you can have thousands of songs with you at all times. I admit, it is extremely handy, and I love having my music with me everywhere I go, but there was almost something special about  buying a CD. You couldn’t listen to one song from the CD then put another in for another song. There was some sort of figures too, it was like that it takes like 1.000 downloads or something to make up for the profit of one CD. I don’t remember what it was though. I have to say that without my iPod I’d be lost though, especially when I need to drown out other people.

Rachel

Watch My Face As I Pretend to Feel No Pain

My head is so full of crap god help me. I feel like I suffer from identity crises and heartbreak, though have I ever truly loved? The words don't flow, nor do they pour our in anguish. Instead they are halted and mixed up. Trying to convey emotions threatening to overflow.

Little trifles that keep me up at night and jumble my head. Was it romance? Or just hormones leading me on in hopeless confusion? Time being the enemy, though that sounds like it came out of a novel written long ago. The separation and time wrecking what I had managed to build up in the limited hours.

And then I lose myself, trying so hard to express feelings and groping for the right words. In entirety, life is good, but that feeling of wanting is there. To say, as much as I want to, that I wish my life wasn't mine, is wrong. The small sufferings that would be pointless to explain, as they come out incomprehensible. To want to live anothers life is stupid, selfish, and ungrateful, yet don't we all?

I feel that inside my head is organized chaos, yes, an oxymoron. And no one would no what to do with that organized chaos, not even me. But that's my point. To ask the simple question, "Who am I?". Just stupid confusion twisted into as if a secret code. Meaning hidden behind the useless words.

And there's him. People would laugh, at times I even find myself laughing and saying, "You stupid hopeful girl." Rereading and wondering what the hell I was thinking. But remembering the memories makes it real and I wonder if I really was that crazy. Yet the relapses that threaten to more questioning. It's all just nonsense hidden underneath trying to escape. But do I even want it to escape?



Rachel - Je T'aime?