Thank You For Not Sharing

Because I figured if I have nothing to say, I can use the work of others.



"Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head."

I only mean half of what I don't say.

You Worried?

Tell me this isn't cute. Tell me this little twitching, rambling, blonde, crack attack Billy Joe isn't cute.



'She screams in silence/a sullen riot penetrating through her mind/waiting for a sign/to smash the silence with the brick of self control.'

I've concluded we're all more screwed up than anyone cares to notice.

I'm sorry you can't accept yourself, whether it be in love or hate, to close the spilt daydream and mend the broken thoughts.

Rip yourself open and sew yourself shut.

'Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you?/Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?/Scream at me until my ears bleed/I'm taking heed just for you.'

What are you going to do when that silver spoon you held for so long falls out of your mouth?

If you confuse me, have you succeeded?

Don't try to convince me that I'm that good an actor.

The details of irrelevancy that you hope to burn me with. Crush their pedestals as yours raises higher on false truths and desperate prevaricate and innuendo. But your silence cuts deeper than the words ever could.

Go ahead, see if you can buy that happiness you've always wanted.

'She's figured out all her doubts were someone else's point of view/Waking up this time/To smash the silence with the brick of self control.'


By Andrew Zbihlyj

Oh, What's So Fine, Dear

" 'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere - be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.' "

I am of old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise;
Regardless of others, ever regardful of others.
Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man,
Stuff'd with the stuff that is coarse, and stuff'd with the stuff that is fine.

One of my many favorites - A Dream Within a Dream by Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep - while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

In the Daylight Anywhere Feels Like Home

'Last years wishes are this years apologies'.

Maybe I'm just lame. But I could care less that 2010 is over. Whats the difference between celebrating a new year and a new month? A yearly mark just gives us an excuse to create all of these false goals and resolutions that no one will ever complete. Mine was to eat healthier. I mark that I gave up today, January 1st, after my second Capri Sun..gummy worms..and ice cream. I'm not one for any sort of commitment, long term project, or really anything that requires effort for a continual amount of time. Wow. I'll make a horrible girlfriend.

Looking back I don't think I did anything to make 2010 a very special year, or nothing too memorable happened. Let's see: 8th grade ended. That was a great year though. I loved 8th grade. Probably one of the best school year experience so far. Then came summer. That's all become a jumbled mess. It didn't seem that great when school rolled around, but looking back, day by day it was pretty fun. Vermont, concert, Abby's house, pool with Abby, my house with Abby...I'd have to say it was probably one of the best summers I've ever had. I'm that kid that will always be waiting for that one extraordinary summer, better than all the others, but nothing will ever seem good enough. Hmm. I seem to be contradicting my earlier statement. In my mind, the year overall was just another year to live..but month by month it was fun.

And here it is. 2011. This shit just got real. Who knows what will happen. Maybe I'll finally get it together and realize I need to put more effort into school. Maybe as I grow older, I'll discover more about myself, and what I want to do with my life. Or just maybe, our dream of a magical flying pocket Brendon Urie will finally come true. Someone needs to photoshop this up for us.

Complete irrelevancy..I got a camera for Christmas. Think Polaroid. Except it's a Fujifilm. The picture comes out immediately on film. It's pretty fun, and a little part of me has always liked photography. I like the effect that instant cameras have on the picture. Photography is just a cool thing in general. I even like the word. Which is why, I've decided, while browsing Sears while the parents bought a new tv, I want a camera. Preferably a Canon. With a telephoto zoom lens. And wide angle lens. But just a standard zoom lens would be great..

Besides for photography, I'm also into *5th grade moment* people being a copycat. I love when something of your own immediately becomes an interest of someone who wants it all. You have it, and they don't, so by them having what was yours originally..it immediately makes them a better person then right? Because that is some fucked up logic you have there. And I'm not talking about inspiration. You build yourself based off of others, but ultimately, you are your own person in the end. It just takes a long time to figure all of yourself out. And then it's just all #eggsandbacon.

"...for strange effects and extraordinary combinations we must go to life itself, which is always far more daring than any effort of the imagination."
The wonderful words of Sherlock Holmes. Or Arthur Conan Doyle. Whichever way you look at it.

'I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me/you can only blame your problems on the world for so long before it all becomes the same old song.'





'We're the new face of failure/prettier and younger but not any better off/bulletproof loneliness at best'.


Death is... by Sebastian E.