Letssaa gooo!

It'ssa me! Mariooo!

It's Getting Hard to be Someone

Oh hey there. Been a while. Still alive. In this moment I'm quite lonely. So very very lonely. I'm an only child, but over the past week I became so accustomed to just always having someone there...and then they're gone and it's all *sits and twiddles thumbs* I'm gonna go talk to my pets now.

I would like to give a big thank you to Catie. The friend I've had the longest, one of my closest, and going on knowing each other 10 years now. It seems so much longer when you actually put it in persepctive like that.

Maybe it was that one day where you punched my mouth in kindergarden and finally knocked that loose tooth out for me. Or being able to play together every morning before school for a year. Dressing up stuffed animals, taking them on 'walks', introducing me to those magical perler beads...

You're one of my best friends, and I know that no matter what, you'll always be there.

And I'll always be there for you, because you sure as hell aren't getting rid of me.



On another really random topic...I love my mom. I really do. I mean, we argue but it's really all my fault. Teenage angst. *ANGSTANGSTANGST* But she's funny, that one person that truly loves me unconditionally, and she's always so willing to drive me places or put up with my annoying 'lets stay up until 3am' habits, and I think this is just one of those moments where I've finally and truly realized how much she really does mean to me. People say friends can come and go, but family is forever. I do believe friends can last forever, but nothing will ever compare to family. For me, as an only child, I don't have any siblings, and I know that I'm not going to be able to grow up and say that I have a brother or sister that ultimately will always be there for me. Essentially it's just my parents, but I realize how close we really are, and how lucky I am to have them, and along with all my other relatives, as family.

I really want to sleep but the internet is far too appealing. Figure I'll have time to shower around 1:30am. That's what usually happens anyway.

Right now I'm just in one of those moods. It doesn't really have a name. I'm sad and happy and pissed and figure that this song just kind of takes care of everything.

Elvis usually does that.

#sunburns

I'm really liking summer so far.

Stephen Chbosky

And in that moment I swear we were infinite.

Surfin' Safari?

So as of tomorrow, or technically today, I'm leaving for vacation. My father, just being..himself, has decided that leaving at 5:30 is a good idea. So my plan is to pull an all nighter. Read a little here. Watch a little youtube there. See the sun rise. I finally finished packing around 12:30am so now, at 1:10am, I must keep myself awake for the next four hours. Shouldn't be too hard. 10 hour car ride will be good for sleeping anyway.

I've been out of school for around a week now and I'm still waiting for it to feel like summer. Still hasn't really hit me. Probably won't. But last night felt pretty great. 'Twas filled with Live in Chicago, Cheez It's, and lots of this:



..and this.



It literally got to a point so great that I won't go into it. ..but I'm the master of awkward dancing, Shania Twain, and the Beach Boys.

This is fun because I don't think anyone, literally anyone at all, still reads this.

Now pushing 1:30am, 5:30am seems pretty far off. I bet I can do it. Just gotta find the right fanfiction *facepalm*
But I love me a good chaptered slash.

Summer has felt sort of liberating so far. Being able to just do whatever you please at your own leisurely time. Work kind of kills that. All of it. But it's still pleasant. I just kind of float around my house drifting from watching TV to playing piano, occasionally painting, back to TV (GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS FTW!). It's just kind of nice.

And so I leave you with this.



As I listen to this, I smile like a complete and utter idiot. This song is forever ingrained in my entire being. The Beach Boys are a cure for depression. RA RA RA RA SIS BOOM BA!

Look it up.

I could probably spend the next four hours just listening to the Beach Boys. It's like bliss.

DJ Lobsterdust is My New Hero

This has literally been my fascination. I can't stop listening to this. IT'S SO GOOD. WTF.

Who knew MGMT and Far East Movement could sound so amazing together.

heads will roll

I have a Flickr now. Partly because I'm too shy to upload any art kinds of pictures to facebook.
CLICK --> http://www.flickr.com/photos/rkeeler

'Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, 'I don't believe in the Beatles, I just believe in me.' Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people'.

Selfish

I've been ignored and vomited every content of my stomach up. My body feels like it just got ran over by an 18-wheeler.

Excuse me while I curl up and die.

Steal Me a Rainbow and Sing Me a Dream

This picture might have to be the shittiest (webcam) quality I've ever seen. But I adore it too much to care. My cousin (left) and I. We were both examining my comic book when this picture was taken, but it has a certain child-like sense to it.
It reminds me of being kids together, opening presents with each other, or looking through the grandparents toy box and drawers, seeing what we could fine.
We're all growed up now.




Accidental. But I really liked it.
*click to make all the pictures bigger*




This is my friend Abby. She's gorgeous. Sometimes she doesn't see it, but I think she's beautiful.



Just one of those perfect moments to have a camera. 'Tis my dog, Bella.




Pictures of flowers are boring.

My broken scrawl.

Boo.

I shall post more on my flickr. After I create a flickr. Or find the password to one I probably created years ago and never used.

fou comme un chapelier vous etes maigre comme un dime.

Talk is Cheap, Lies are Expensive

When I grow up, I want to be awesome like Michael J. Fox.

I was creeping on facebook and found this. It made me smile.

Three guys are in a cafe.
One says, "I've got the smallest arm in the world!"
Another says, "I've got the smallest head in the world!"
The last one says, "I'm the most musically talented in the world!"
The three guys go to Guinness World Records.
One goes first and returns happy: I've really got the smallest arm in the world!
Second returns happy too: I've really got the smallest head of the world!
The last one returns angry and screams: WHO THE HELL is My Chemical Romance!?

I'm aware that that is uber cheesy, but I liked it.
The impact that band has had on me is literally indescribable.
I promise you, Gerard Way is one of my biggest heroes.

"You're beautiful the way you are. Keep it ugly."

I wish some of my friends could see them as I see them. I love all of them so much. It hurts when they can't understand how wonderful they truly are. You are my friends for a reason.

THAT AND SOME PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES.

LULZ SRSLY GUYZ. You are my friends. And I love you all.

It's raining. And I don't have too much homework. So I think I'm just going to curl up with my snuggie and watch youtube videos. It's all #eggsandbacon.

My mood swings are so drastic. Dear god. But I'm seriously loving life right now. It's pretty legit. Just kidding. I hate that saying.

When you say something is "legit", you're saying it is not illegitimate.
So don't use the saying wrong. I find it quite irksome.

LOOK AT THIS! MY FAVORITE BOOK EVER IS TOTALLY A MUSICAL! FUCK YES!
I literally have no clue what the plot line is. Or where the "musical" part comes in. But I have such a deep love of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland that I'm sure it's amazing.




I must go om nom nom some dinner food. My tummy has the rumblies. I leave you with this. It's one of the songs off of the album you've been waiting for your entire life. You just didn't know it yet.

It's like if you mix sex, chocolate, snuggies, Brendon Urie, and all else that is good in this world, mash it all together, and compile it into a cd, this is what you get. But I digress.

I PRESENT: AWOLNATION.

Sit. Listen. Eargasm.



When I listen to this album I just feel like AD;FNSA;LFKJWEOIRJASLKFJASLFWOEIURSLJD!

le ciel a une porte avec de détecteurs de métaux

A Clockwork Orange

For some reason, this trailer is so oddly...intriguing. I was so engrossed watching this. I need to own this book, right about now.



I'm not what you would call a "deep person". Or a writer. Or a poet. Or anything that involves being good with the words and using said words to express emotions and shit. In retrospect, I'm actually quite horrible when it comes to speaking.

I just like to talk about what I like and what I don't like.

I like the internet. A lot. I like music, not all music though. I like livelavalive. And sleep. And reading. I like to read because it makes me glad to know that some people are actually capable of verbalizing thoughts. I also like to be loud and stay up late.

Right now it's 2:48 am.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I was just reading some of my friends stuff and was like, comparatively, Ha. I really suck when it comes to writing. Why don't I make a statement about that.

Last night I had this dream. First let me just disclaim that I dream a lot, and they're always REALLY. FUCKED. UP.

Last night's dream was cute. Odd, but in a cute way. I think it involved jet packs. But it was at this school, with these stairs (mind you these were "special" stairs), and a lot of specific scenery that I can only half remember. In short, I ended up in space (I think..). The best part was, it involved this kid from my school, who I've never even talked to before.It's just this kid that I'll see in the hallway. And he was in my dream. I remember waking up like... holy shit. wtf? But regardless, it was pretty cute. We ended up together. And eating spaghetti. As strange as it all was, I realized when I woke up, the kids cute. So it's all good.

This is easily one of my favorite songs. Ever. It's all about the lyrics man...though that makes me sound like some stereotypical Generation X hippie. Or Hyde.



Maybe I should sleep at some point.

i got so sick of being on my own

alnbvl;wkejrosidfjlsanasl;kdfjwoe;irujsldfnslgbsl;kfjskl;djfnvg;lskdjfwe;oirfjlsdk
as;dlkvgnsl;oweioewowioeoioeiuouidjksfnduytewrluyewiedioeirjhnufhh
njdsfnkjkoi;oiuiewhyuewghewghghehgedhjbdhjdehejweweaiojewoirwao;
sdkfjhjksfdkjiwoei9whlkjasbfv;alkja;oiwbf;askjvgbha;slkfhjas;dlkjfhab
nasdfjweoiryqnvbnmalakiqpowieruqyiwuigwq34jhbbvcbnasnmMNn
fanvabnahjkwoiweoirejklasklsdnafbnzbbnanmwqoqioquiqh
nbabnabnvababjklh2w2woiufauoiewuhewuifalhsdkjabvalskdjfawleru
babvalkjsdfhkwioeriyipfkkjbhgasuihhjuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuqhgjabfa,
ajkvbasdlkjfahwiuerfbvaksdnfaslkvjwe;afwioepfihsdfkjabdsfjkanbas
faslkjvbaslvqopuwrq2835132uihjakfbvjvnalkjvnalsdkfhweuithagsbvla
faskjdvnasbdsiqil21akjvnwaefhjqoipjfhvbjkads;fjkavbjasbfoewiurfujdks
ajksvnsldfasdkjfsdfksdfsadf.

And this.

And Down We Go

They're getting sloppier--I'm aware.

BUT IT'S SO FUN.

You see, this is what people without friends do over their spring break.


Gerard Way circa Black Parade era:


I'm sick of my face. But I'm allowed to be sick of my face, because it's my fucking face.

because we're all a bunch of animals that never payed attention in school.

In our district, we only get four days for spring break.
For the past two days, I have literally been doing NOTHING but a) eating b) drawing.

We still have one more day of break left.
I'm not sure if I can take this extreme boredom and beached whale feeling.
All I've seemed to accomplish is eating myself into a food coma and THIS:



Webcam picture = crappy quality. BUT, I have *somewhat* successfully managed to draw a tiny cartoon Party Poison Gerard Way.

I'm pretty proud of my drawing deformity.

I also drew Ryan Ross. But he's looking somewhat like a girl right now so I won't share that picture yet...

NAB;LASJFWPOEIURSL;DKFALSNGV;LSDJRWOIERJLSKNGF;WOEIRUSWLIFJJ
*dies of boredom*

I'm like a little hobbit, never to leave my room.

We're All Mad Here

We came. We danced. We screamed. We puked.



Look in the crowd.

WE WERE RIGHT THUR.

Yeah. That's What's Up

i like to stay up until 1:30 in the morning looking out the window and watching youtube videos.

All of my friends have been so happy lately. It's wonderful. It makes me happy to watch their happiness. I'm like a little happiness moocher. Because everyone else is so happy. It makes me want to be happier. And I feel stupid when I complain about anything because everyone is so happy that me not being happy wouldn't be very happy.

If you say a word long enough it doesn't sound like a real world anymore.

...happy.



It's so happy it's obnoxious.

Because I Bought a One Way Ticket

Zoloft, Ambien, Adderall -- feel better, sleep better, concentrate better than your lifestyle allows.

Because maybe this is all art has come to.



Sometimes I feel like we're losing originality in our world.

We probably aren't.

But I feel like we are.

Maybe I'm wrong though, and using the same hook as an already popular song a key lower is what the music industry really needs. *coughFRIDAYcough* Really.

People hate too much. People are also annoying hypocrites. I, and some other friends (hey Alysha!) tend to hate on a lot of things. I hate hipsters (...but really. Who doesn't?) I hate Disneyworld. I hate tea. It's kind of the simple things, but eventually you get to a point where you don't truly admire anything. A liking or admiration for something is truly the lacking presence of hate. I'm not saying I'm that person. I just like to think I'm a little more vehement when it comes to arguing or expressing a dislike.

As I understand it *uses socratic circle lexicon ingrained into mind* America's lacking. Oh poo poo, the snarky complaints of a pissed off teenager. I'm not going to pretend and claim to have even a slightly intelligent understanding of politics. In fact, I'm rather ignorant when it comes to our country and issues around us. That's what happens when you're a little egocentric adolescent. But I think we could all have a little more empathy.

I truly am a hypocrite.

I'm a very unsympathetic person. Very.

Let alone empathy.

But it'd be nice.

I got thinking about all of this because of an article I read. See? Reading is good. For all of those who claim "I hate reading". Well. STFU.

In other words, I've decided to write a book, appropriately titled "The Internet Has Ruined All Of My Social Expectations for Normalacy". Because of the internet, I read too much of what I won't even go into. I associate bathtubs with cutting yourself. Cabins with sex. And held a very interesting conversation at lunch about how you can smell sex on a person. I'm thinking it could be a best seller.

Ever see that episode of Spongebob called Not Normal? Watch it. There's a pretty powerful message if you can look beyond Spongebob laugh/Squidward's I hate life motto/Patricks utter stupidity. *sighs* Show's gone downhill.
(http://spongebob.nick.com/videos/clip/not-normal-gone-full-episode.html)

Speaking of Spongebob...CHILDHOOD SHOWS. I was caught in a riveting conversation about this during history class. *stares guiltily at blank notes sheet* This was MY SHOW as a kid. Literally. If you could condense my childhood into an 11 minute animated cartoon..this would be it.



Conversation also included: Ahh! Real Monsters, Rocket Power, PB & J, Rolie Polie Olie, The Weekenders, ANGRY BEAVERS (they hold a special place inside my heart), Rugrats, Johnny Bravo, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, DANNY PHANTOM, and all those other wonderful 90's cartoon. Oh. And the Amanda Show and All That.

Oh nostalgia I don't need you anymore.

Me verser une forte dose de l'atmosphère.

Stupid Hipsters

I got a tumblr. It's pretty fun.

www.cestsuribon.tumblr.com

if i had a tumor i'd name it after you.

Ohmygod. People make me want to take a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brain. Sorry to crash your little pitty party, but SUCK IT THE FUCK UP.

Oh. And my rooms smells like summer. It's delicious. It's a mixture of that fresh summer/spring air smell from sleeping with my windows open the last few days, and lotion, the specific one I used all of last summer. It's like the greatest thing ever.

It's the New Diet

Summer's On It's Death Bed

My Chemical Romance with Neon Trees April 17th.

Panic! at the Disco with fun. and Foxy Shazam June 3rd. With possible meet and greet. Early admission. Special edition shirt and poster.

I'm not bragging... but FUCK. YES.

Sprinting through the rain like an uber nerd. Almost barfing shamrock shake. These are tiny memories collecting in my brain.

A word for the wise, don't run with a backpack on. You go up, backpack goes down. It will offset you. And you'll look like a nerd.

Rambling post of ramblingness. Homework monster has eaten my brain. The Poulakosaurus-raptor has decided to attack tiny student dinos. "

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." --C.S. Lewis

ma rêverie déversements de ma tête d'or

Whatsername

Learn to laugh at yourself. It's fun to be a loser.

Tomorrow Never Knows

I'm in one of those moods. It's more than just my 'I'm-feeling-creative-and-inspired-lets-create-a-lot-of-artwork-and-take-pictures-mood'. It's my 'I'm-feeling-creative-and-inspired-lets-draw-and-create-a-flickr-and-type-a-post-and-buy-sneakers-and-everything-else-that-seems-productive-but-really-isn't-because-I-still-have-crap-to-do-mood'.

All of this started because I was looking through Matt & Kim's pictures.



I love them both.

I think I might just have to spend all my money on these Converse's I just designed. *Not, of course, breaking into my *almost non-exsistent* camera fund* They were inspired by non other than Kim Schifino. But it's ok.

Though I also have a large list of CD's I have to get around to buying. It'd be nice if I worked more. I want summer. Other than the obvious reason--another year of a summer job. I'm not shallow and I try not to focus on the trivial things..but I'll admit. I have this *somewhat large* mental list of things I need to get around to buying.

A Fight Club poster is on that list.

if I could just find one. That's NOT lame. Though I don't have a problem with Edward Norton posted to my walls.

My earlier 'mood' seems to have taken over this post. More useless talking. Blah.

I even annoy myself sometimes...or always. Usually always.

Complete irrelevance, I belong in YouTube Anonymous. One of my favorite things to look up is song covers. I found this girl, she's super cute, and has a great voice. I like this song, but she just made it ten times better. It's time like this I wish I had a voice. Being able to play the piano is a lot more impressive when you can sing too.



She also has some pretty beast Xtina covers.

46 DAYS UNTIL MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE (+NEON TREES) CONCERT!

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

I figured a proper post was in order. More or less whatever runs through my mind.



Yes. I did just post a picture of Audrey Kitching. She's pretty, and I love this picture.

So as I sit here on a Sunday night, at 11:00, I have screwed myself over once again. My sketchbook sitting on my bed, for my unfinished sketch for art class. My literature book sitting in my locker, all 10 unread chapters. My empty word document, waiting to finish that third page. I am Jack's sense of failure and defeat.

Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters to me.

If I had a tumor I'd name it high school.

'Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is nonexistent. And don't bother concealing your thievery--celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: "It's not where you take things from--it's where you take them to.'

Maybe if I disappoint myself enough I could pick all the pieces back up. You have to hit the bottom before you can make it to the top. I must not have hit bottom yet. Because I think I just sunk a little lower.



It's nice to know that you can always find a fault. Because of course nothing could ever be good enough. I still feel guilty. A moment is all you can ever expect from perfection.

But then I start to annoy myself. Again. Those abstract little thoughts with obscure meanings that just kind of flicker through my mind with incoherent passings.

People ask you questions just so they can talk about themselves. And when they don't reciprocate, thats when we get pissed off.

It's funny how facebook has the power to make you want to be anyone but yourself. That girl with a thousand photos and perfect blond hair. That gorgeous scene boy with annoyingly deep felt lyrics as statuses. From a picture anyone's life can seem better than your own. This is before you realize it's like an advertisement, false imagery. And you feel stupid. But that person you never wanted to be, suddenly their life seems pretty damn appealing.

Read this. You're not depressed. Your pity party is not something I'm interested in attending.
http://www.altpress.com/contributors/entry/see_you_next_fall._and_the_one_after_that._and_the_next_one._and/


This song is gorgeous.

Cut and Cross Wires, Electric Fires

I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?"

Why did I cause so much pain?

Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?

Can't I see that we're all manifestations of love?

I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong.

We are not special.

We are not crap or trash either. We just are.

We just are, and what happens just happens.

And God says, "No, that's not right."

Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.

Thank You For Not Sharing

Because I figured if I have nothing to say, I can use the work of others.



"Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head."

I only mean half of what I don't say.

You Worried?

Tell me this isn't cute. Tell me this little twitching, rambling, blonde, crack attack Billy Joe isn't cute.



'She screams in silence/a sullen riot penetrating through her mind/waiting for a sign/to smash the silence with the brick of self control.'

I've concluded we're all more screwed up than anyone cares to notice.

I'm sorry you can't accept yourself, whether it be in love or hate, to close the spilt daydream and mend the broken thoughts.

Rip yourself open and sew yourself shut.

'Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you?/Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?/Scream at me until my ears bleed/I'm taking heed just for you.'

What are you going to do when that silver spoon you held for so long falls out of your mouth?

If you confuse me, have you succeeded?

Don't try to convince me that I'm that good an actor.

The details of irrelevancy that you hope to burn me with. Crush their pedestals as yours raises higher on false truths and desperate prevaricate and innuendo. But your silence cuts deeper than the words ever could.

Go ahead, see if you can buy that happiness you've always wanted.

'She's figured out all her doubts were someone else's point of view/Waking up this time/To smash the silence with the brick of self control.'


By Andrew Zbihlyj

Oh, What's So Fine, Dear

" 'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere - be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.' "

I am of old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise;
Regardless of others, ever regardful of others.
Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man,
Stuff'd with the stuff that is coarse, and stuff'd with the stuff that is fine.

One of my many favorites - A Dream Within a Dream by Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep - while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

In the Daylight Anywhere Feels Like Home

'Last years wishes are this years apologies'.

Maybe I'm just lame. But I could care less that 2010 is over. Whats the difference between celebrating a new year and a new month? A yearly mark just gives us an excuse to create all of these false goals and resolutions that no one will ever complete. Mine was to eat healthier. I mark that I gave up today, January 1st, after my second Capri Sun..gummy worms..and ice cream. I'm not one for any sort of commitment, long term project, or really anything that requires effort for a continual amount of time. Wow. I'll make a horrible girlfriend.

Looking back I don't think I did anything to make 2010 a very special year, or nothing too memorable happened. Let's see: 8th grade ended. That was a great year though. I loved 8th grade. Probably one of the best school year experience so far. Then came summer. That's all become a jumbled mess. It didn't seem that great when school rolled around, but looking back, day by day it was pretty fun. Vermont, concert, Abby's house, pool with Abby, my house with Abby...I'd have to say it was probably one of the best summers I've ever had. I'm that kid that will always be waiting for that one extraordinary summer, better than all the others, but nothing will ever seem good enough. Hmm. I seem to be contradicting my earlier statement. In my mind, the year overall was just another year to live..but month by month it was fun.

And here it is. 2011. This shit just got real. Who knows what will happen. Maybe I'll finally get it together and realize I need to put more effort into school. Maybe as I grow older, I'll discover more about myself, and what I want to do with my life. Or just maybe, our dream of a magical flying pocket Brendon Urie will finally come true. Someone needs to photoshop this up for us.

Complete irrelevancy..I got a camera for Christmas. Think Polaroid. Except it's a Fujifilm. The picture comes out immediately on film. It's pretty fun, and a little part of me has always liked photography. I like the effect that instant cameras have on the picture. Photography is just a cool thing in general. I even like the word. Which is why, I've decided, while browsing Sears while the parents bought a new tv, I want a camera. Preferably a Canon. With a telephoto zoom lens. And wide angle lens. But just a standard zoom lens would be great..

Besides for photography, I'm also into *5th grade moment* people being a copycat. I love when something of your own immediately becomes an interest of someone who wants it all. You have it, and they don't, so by them having what was yours originally..it immediately makes them a better person then right? Because that is some fucked up logic you have there. And I'm not talking about inspiration. You build yourself based off of others, but ultimately, you are your own person in the end. It just takes a long time to figure all of yourself out. And then it's just all #eggsandbacon.

"...for strange effects and extraordinary combinations we must go to life itself, which is always far more daring than any effort of the imagination."
The wonderful words of Sherlock Holmes. Or Arthur Conan Doyle. Whichever way you look at it.

'I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me/you can only blame your problems on the world for so long before it all becomes the same old song.'





'We're the new face of failure/prettier and younger but not any better off/bulletproof loneliness at best'.


Death is... by Sebastian E.