Tell Me Your Secrets and Ask Me Your Questions

I've been craving books recently. I've missed the pages. I've missed the connections. And I've missed the emotions they'll evoke and the percussion they'll leave to your brain. But it's esoteric.

Words will forever hold more importance than any film could provide.

"Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will fuck you up."

...it's funny because I had to edit this to make it look decent.

Mon Coeur S'ouvre a ta Voix

You'll see the words but you won't read them. Not really. It'll fuck you up.
The layer, the wall, the one you can move if you tried hard enough.
But you don't.
With fingers shaking and hand trembling the words are foreign aliens,
The hand falls and pages slip. The words you could never understand disappear.
But they don't.
They stay encased in the ghost of the wall.
As the pages dry and everything dies the writing bleeds to seep into something closed.
Locked up. With the key buried under the goddamn encumbrance.
But maybe there never was one.
The tears won't fall if the heart stops beating.

The Way We Get By

I'll be thinking of the time I felt inspired.

Merci Pour Le Venin

Every word's a new regret if you say it right.

Look Alive, Sunshine!

Happy Thanksgiving! I don't know what I'm thankful. I'm horrible with....stuff like that. The coming up with good sounding words thing. But I'll just go with the standard friends and family <3>

I wish people could learn to accept compliments. If I give you one, I mean it! I don't believe in doling out false compliments. I've refrained from automatically returning a compliment when I receive one. It's giving one out of obligation instead of truth. Unless I really like your shirt. Then I'll return the compliment. Disagreeing with one is one thing, but don't shoot it down. Accept it and feel better!

Recently I've been asking my friends to describe me. My character, how I interact with other people, etc. Whenever I read I'm really aware of the character and it makes me wonder how others view me. I've asked my friends that know me the best, and I received "loud" probably the most. I also got funny, energetic/hyper, and sometimes obnoxious. Can't really disagree with the last one. I then proceeded to ask my friends about my serious side. The unanimous response was "What serious side?" I always thought I had one. It usually only comes out when I'm pissed or sad, but apparently it's not as prominent as I thought. Guess I wasn't as serious as I thought I was. But for better words, "Why so serious?"

I hate Christmas music. I hate it because I love it. It's always so. freaking. happy. And even now, at my age, I still get excited for Christmas, and my impatience kicks in. Every Christmas song I hear gets me more excited for the holidays, only to realize we still have a month to wait. I'm not really one for waiting. If I decide on something, I want it at that moment. It needs to get done NOW. Unless it's something I'd rather not do. Then I have a very passive, *shrugs*, "Eh, what the hell" attitude. Such a downfall.

I had some more important and deeper things to say, but the food and my sweater has made me all happy and go lucky. Yes, my sweater. It's cold and icky out, but I'm loving my warm sweater. And I'm full on delicious dessert. So everything else is irrelevant.

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Kills Joys --one word: orgasmic. Yep. It's that good. This is probably my favorite song from the new album, behind S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W. For me, this is the song I can't get enough of. Hope you know what I'm talking about. That one song you love so much that you want to do more than listen to it. You want to crawl inside of it, and hide yourself in the lyrics. Listening to it just isn't enough. Damn Gerard's voice and their way with lyrics!




"We can live forever if you've got the time".

"During the 1960's, I think, people forgot what emotions were supposed to be. And I don't think they've ever remembered". Andy Warhol

"I sort of enjoy the fact that I'm misunderstood most of the time. That's fine". Billy Joe Armstrong

I have no idea where this was said, but it made me laugh.
"We like to kidnap them in a van, and leave them somewhere dangerous. SURPRISE!". Gerard Way

Bansky

As always, Rachel.

Polaroid SX-70

I want this. Really badly.

I Got Troubled Thoughts and the Self Esteem to Match

Dear lord. I keep trying to start this post but always end up deleting it. Try number four. Might as well start with a too many song links. I couldn't pick, so I put them all.

Fell In Love Without You (Acoustic) - Motion City Soundtrack
It's just really too pretty.



Behind the Sea (Alternate Version) - Panic at the Disco
This song has to be one of my favorite, musically and lyrically. Ryan's voice is always so calming to me, so of course I own all the Young Veins songs (his band formed after leaving Panic).



What a Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy
This song always makes me emotional, not 100% sure why, but it really is beautiful. It has such memory to it, with old props from FOB music videos, cameos from people they've worked with, and their old songs in the background sung by Brendon, Alex DeLeon, and more. <3


That's all I have. Between all the shit thats going on right now, lets just end this little post with a song and call it a day.

"You have to be willing to get happy about nothing." - Andy Warhol

Unexpectedly Happening

I've been feeling very creative recently? Not me so much as inspiration to discover new artwork, photography, music, etc. These are currently some of my favorite works -

After the Fall - Hin Chua

Photo by Mitchell Davis

Lisa Oppenheim
Wolf City - photo from Michael Shirley's blog
The Hangover

And of course one of my favorite artists - Alex Pardee

One of my favorites, I'm pretty sure it's called "Eat Wounded".

Rebellowrez

Snoring Blood (4)

I See That We're Made of More than Blood and Bones

Brittany will be over in an hour so we can go to the football game *excited claps* so I figured while I sit in my hazardously messy room waiting to be cleaned, why not procrastinate and write a post. Homecoming was...last week? Two weeks ago? You can see the effect of highschool that has muddled my mind. It was...eh. Seemed like just another dance, but with the excuse to dress up. I'm not saying I had a bad time, but I'm also sure I could have had better. Most of it was my fault anyway. Before the night even started I wasn't in a great mood, hence my pissed off expression in all of the homecoming photos. I was never one for standing still and smiling anyway.

In other irrelevant news, I've decided to dye my hair. I wanted a piercing but of course the parents shot that one down...that was besides the point. I feel like I'm being in lost in the giant crowd that is highschool. I've always had this sort of desperate subconscious need to be different. To stand out admits the other walking American Eagle billboards. And with that I've turned to purple hair dye. No worries, my entire head will not be the color of "luscious lavender", only a strand. Left side, underneath, behind the ear. I was so excited when my parents agreed to let me do it...until it turns out that most of my friends did not. My response was an overall "ehh...whatever. It's your hair" with a few "just go for it! it'd be sweet!" and a couple "I wouldn't do it's" and one "Ew. Tacky.". But what the hell. I'm a teenager, we make mistakes, I'm going to dye my hair freaking purple if I want to! So what if the bleach destroys it? I'll just live my life with a strand of bleached/purple hair. It's all good.

One thing I didn't mention...it's all a bribe. Or "incentive" as my mom calls it. In order to be able to dye my hair I have to get straight A's for this first semester. *scoff* like that's going to happen. I'm struggling to keep a high B, like I would ever get all A's. Failing the past three personal essays in english and forgetting most of the french verbs on the test won't really help my cause either. Honors geometry is just a bitch. I mean, 101 verbs (legit.) for french. I'm sorry I couldn't remember what the verb cacher meant. Seems a little pointless that the coloring of the hair would be like a little rebellious thing to me, yet attached to it is the need for great grades. I don't think parents understand the extent of the homework, and what it entitles. My dad was worried because I had an 87% in geometry, that I had to get it up to an A. Their expectations seem to be hopelessly fastidious.

Yes, short post. But to make up here's a song to show my love for my friends.
Band of Skulls - Friends

And another song, listen to the entire thing, give it a chance. This song has permanently embedded itself in my mind. *starts to sing*

Matt & Kim - Cameras


Rachel

Just a little memory:

Symphony Solider

we live with such artistry.
we paint with blood,
a canvas love.
a broken heart is like a masterpiece,
for all too gaze...
a perfect frame.
but we're just human.

Alex DeLeon.